I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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