let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
