margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
