i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
