He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize