If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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