it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
only if we run a train.
done.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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