You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
