There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
