ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
