im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
