That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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