Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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