Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
