The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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