Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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