She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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