she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
