No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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