I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
