she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize