after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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