For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
