im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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