Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
