We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am puke
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Randomize
