i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
