Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is Oprah even human
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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