I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
