You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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