Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
