Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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