He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
