if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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