Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
