Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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