So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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