I showed him my bush... on skype.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize