Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
