I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
