fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
