just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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