i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
