absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
