he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
