The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
