My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
