mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
operation have a gay friend backfired
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
