Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
