what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
