This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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