got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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