idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
