They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize