don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
