about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
