Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
