hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
