the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
