Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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