the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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