Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i out mim tonsoeep
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