just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
