Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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