this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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