It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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