At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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