wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize