Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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