I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
