she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
