giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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