sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i love accidental penises.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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