i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
