I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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