before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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